The Carlisle Indian Industrial School


Two weeks ago I went on another one of my “infamous” little road trips to visit Carlisle and Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. While I am sure the majority of you have heard of Gettysburg and its historical battle, I wonder how many of you are familiar with the history of Carlisle. I say this, not because I think people are generally clueless – but, because what occurred at Carlisle is one of those typically darker aspects of American History that the government would prefer just fade away into the realm of nothingness.

Up until a few years ago, I had never heard anything of Carlisle or the atrocities that went on there. It was through my interactions and guidance from Guipago, Big Tree and Quanah Parker that I was first acquainted with Carlisle. Thanks to them, over the past few years I have come to discover the rewriting, and what I call the “non-writing” of American Indian History has not only been blatant and deliberate – it has also been severely tainted.

To be perfectly candid, I can’’t even really recall how Carlisle first revealed itself or came up. But, as with everything Guipago, Big Tree and Quanah Parker have previously lead me to, I knew instinctively they wanted me to go. I also knew in my heart – I had to go! Traveling to Carlisle physically and experiencing all of its essence, would enable me to grow closer to these incredible men I have become so fond of and dependent on for my current spiritual enlightenment.

What is Carlisle and why is it significant? Carlisle, Pennsylvania is the site of the Carlisle Indian Industrial School. This military style boarding school ran from 1879 to 1918. The main goal of the school was to transform and “mold” American Indian children into their “civilized” white counterparts. In short, the school’s mission was to “Christianize” and strip the child of anything “Indian” – take them away from themselves.

In the name of assimilation these children, sometimes forcibly taken from their homes, were forced to cut their hair, wear white-man’’s clothes, take a new Christian name, and speak only in English. In short, these poor children were forced to give up their entire spirit of being – their very soul. Everything they had come to know throughout their lives as an Indian, everything they identified with, was now forbidden – and wrong!

As you can imagine, throughout this ghastly process and years at Carlisle, many of these children were severely abused and traumatized psychologically. They often suffered from not only separation anxiety and other things of the like, but also from “white-man” diseases such as smallpox and tuberculosis. Illness and death among the Indian children was commonplace and many passed away at the school. In total, a hundred and ninety children are buried at the site of what used to be the Carlisle Industrial School.



Upon my arrival in Carlisle, I headed straight over to the Cumberland County Historical Society as I wanted to look at some photos from the school. One of the first set of photos I stumbled upon was one of a “before and after” type. There I sat silently with tears rolling down my face. I couldn’t believe my eyes – I didn’t want to believe my eyes!

The original old photos were of three Sioux boys, Richard (Wounded) Yellow Robe, Henry Standing Bear and Timber (Chauncey) Yellow Robe. One photo showed their arrival at the school in 1883 and one showed them after their, uh, let’s just say “after”. It was absolutely gut wrenching to look at these photos. Even though I knew they were the same boys – I also knew they weren’t the same boys. It is impossible to even attempt to describe my thoughts or convey the depth of emotion I felt from these photos.

I sat there a while in silent contemplation just staring at the photos. I felt my jaw hanging open and my head shaking back and forth in horror and disbelief. I attempted to sort out my emotions from those of the three boys in the photos – but it was an impossible task. After several minutes went by, I finally managed to break away from my thoughts and went on to look at some other photographs.

It was truly amazing to look at these photos close up and personally. For me, when I look at these old photos I transport myself back in time and connect. I am often able to feel the emotions, moods, vibes and sometimes even smells and sounds of the period. In this particular case, the photos were a somber account of what was going on at the time. Can you imagine what it would be like to be stripped from everything you know and believe?




I continued looking through the photos and talking with the librarian. Just when I thought I was on emotional overload and couldn’t deal with seeing or hearing anything else – something miraculous happened! In the middle of all the photos of the school and students, guess whose photos just happened to be amongst the archives at the CCHS? You guessed it! One Mr. Big Tree and one Mr. Quanah Parker!

I quickly wrote down the photo numbers on a scratch piece of paper, then gave my request to the photo curator guy so he could get them for me. I was so excited! I was going to get to see “real” photographs of my spiritual gurus – new ones, pictures I had never seen before!

The photo curator handed me the original pictures and I set them down on the table. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and then voila, opened my eyes. There before me was a stunning picture of Big Tree and an amazing group photo with Quanah Parker front and center. Oh my gosh, I was in heaven! There amidst everything dismal and depressing, my guides had come to my aide once again.

I don’t know why there was even a picture of Big Tree at the CCHS as he was not listed as a chief who visited the school. In fact, he wasn’t even listed on the list of Kiowa Indians when I checked their computer data-base. He just sort of “showed up” if you know what I mean! Another one of those synchronistic things, showing me my journey was not in vain and a gentle reminder he was with me.



After looking at the photos of Big Tree and Quanah, I felt somewhat comforted and emotionally ready to make my way to the Army Base where the remaining buildings of the Carlisle Indian Industrial School still stand. My momentary burst of mental strength however, was to be rather short lived. As I drove towards the entrance of the base, the first thing I saw was the cemetery – a rather hard smack back to the dreadful reality of the situation.

I parked my car and walked around the old buildings on the base. In my hand I carried two maps. One, a current map of the base given to me at the gate, and another, given to me from the historical society showing the location of the original buildings. It was quite an exercise trying match up the buildings and figure out what was what. Perhaps I am just a bit too idealistic, but hey – how about putting some small placards on the buildings indicating which ones belonged to the school? Would that be asking too much?!

All types of thoughts and emotions permeated my mind and body as I continued walking around the site of the school buildings. I couldn’t get over the fact nothing was marked. Other than a few words carved in stone on the Art Building, and the actual buildings themselves – some of which were built by the students – I saw few remnants of the Indian children even ever being there.

I walked around speechless, lost in a daze as my thoughts went to what the children must have gone through. I thought about the lies and the manipulation that must have occurred when dealing with the parents. I thought about the tragedy of the taking of what is most important in one’s life – not only their childhood, but their identity and belief system. I thought about the relevance of all of this is to our current world situation – believe me, I thought about it all!

Guipago, Big Tree and Quanah have guided me on some amazing adventures in helping to educate and help me reconnect to what I once knew. Up until now, I have always managed to take away something positive in their lessons and teachings. This particular part of my journey however, although necessary, has been painful and hard to swallow. Even in writing this, it is difficult to express what really needs and wants to be said. So, with that in mind, I will turn things over to you the reader, and allow you to fill in the blanks.

As stated in previous stories involving my guides, I am not here to give anyone a history lesson – or in this case, perhaps a lesson in morality. I couldn’t and wouldn’t even if I wanted to! What I am hoping, is those of you out there reading and following along with me on parts of my personal journey, will perhaps be compelled to not only learn more about the plight of the American Indians – but to continue forward on your own road to self-discovery and enlightenment.

In this current climate of colossal change and upheaval, the more of us who can discover and walk down our own individual paths – the more we can illuminate pathways for others. When we take an active role in healing ourselves, we ultimately help in the acceleration of the worldwide healing process. Heal yourself – and you heal others!

Thanks again for reading and riding along on my journey,

kathleen xx

Tips for visiting the Carlisle Indian Industrial School

If you do plan to make a trip to Carlisle to see the site of what used to be the Carlisle Indian Industrial School there are a few things you should know. First off, they sure don’’t make it easy for you! In the typical “let’s try to sweep this under the carpet and hope it goes away fashion”, your going to have to really make an effort in order to figure things out. None of the original buildings are marked and the map of the base you get when you enter the post is just that – a map of the base!

If you are not prior or current military, you will need to stop at the gate and tell them you are going to look at the Indian School buildings. Don’t expect to be welcomed with open arms! When I expressed my desire to visit the buildings, the plump “power has gone to my head rent-a-cop” gave me a nice roll of the eyes and a heavy sigh as though he was totally put out. Sort of comical and quite fitting if you think about it!

Also, if you don’t have a current military ID, be prepared to be searched – and I do mean searched! Short of giving both you and your automobile a complete cavity search, they will want to check everything imaginable! Did I say thorough? Good gosh man, it was so intimidating, I began feeling nervous as though I was actually doing something wrong!

The very best thing you can do when you get to Carlisle is to head straight over to the Cumberland County Historical Society. They are an incredible bunch of people and they have access to knowledge and historical data you can only dream of. Make sure you ask them for the map of the base with the original Indian Industrial School Buildings marked on it. Without this map, you will have an extremely difficult time trying to suss things out on the base. (They close early – make sure you find out their hours before you go!)


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Miracle in the Jacuzzi


A few years ago, I rescued an old birdbath from my Grandmother’’s backyard. Dating back to the early 1900’s, the bath had been sitting outside neglected for years and was in dire need of some tender loving care. Cosmetically speaking, it isn’t much to look at, but I have grown to love it and apparently – so do the birds!

Over the years, and I guess through “word of beak”, the once abandoned birdbath has now become somewhat of a party central for the bird community. They come from miles around to sit, bathe and share their feathery antidotes for hours on end. Some days there are so many birds out there laughing and carrying on, my grandmother’’s old birdbath looks more like a Bird Jacuzzi. You can almost imagine them bringing along their little towels, flip-flops and sunglasses.

During the warm months, every day and sometimes twice a day – depending on the crowd – I go out and clean the dirty water from the birdbath. I then replace it with lovely fresh and clean sparkling water for their enjoyment. One day I was filling up the bath, and as always, there were a few birds waiting patiently on the branches. I was in mid process and had just stepped away to fill up my last container of water, when apparently one of the eager birds left me a “little present”. I am sure you can intuit that a little present loosely translates to bird droppings – okay, let’s be blunt here – it was bird poop!

I came back to empty my last container full of fresh water into the Jacuzzi when I saw my little gift. As you can imagine, sounds of my exasperation permeated the air. “Aargh! Are you guys serious?” I immediately looked up into the pine tree and saw some little sparrows looking at me – one in particular looking as though he was embarrassed. I continued on with my tirade while looking at the little feathered culprit. I explained to him and his Jacuzzi buddies how unfair it was for me to continuously clean up after them – without any effort on their part. After all, I was trying to make this a nice place for them to hang out.

I was on a roll! I went on to explain, after years of my faithful service – coming out every day and cleaning up after them – I deserved a little bit of a break. Something needed to change! Staring up at the tree, more than likely looking like a loon, I went on with my litany of grievances. It was high time they start doing their part in keeping the prized recreation area clean. As of that moment forward I was declaring the birdbath a “poop-free” zone!

I couldn’t help but laugh at myself as I stood making my proclamation. Here I was standing under pine trees, going off on a tangent on some poor little birds – most of them probably innocent “bird-standers” if you know what I mean! Feeling a little bit guilty as though perhaps they didn’t deserve my verbal lashing, I finished pouring in the clean water and walked away so they could have their privacy.

I didn’t think too much more about my little rant that day or in the days that followed. A few weeks later I was pouring clean water into the birdbath when something suddenly donned on me. The birdbath had been clean for the past several weeks – no presents leftover from an “all-dayer”. Oh my gosh I thought to myself, then immediately burst out laughing. They heard me! The birds were actually listening to me that day and apparently passed the word on to all of their bird buddies.

I wasn’t even consciously trying to communicate with animals that day – but apparently, they were in communication with me! Hmmm… just goes to show you never know when the animals are listening!

What is the moral in this story?

It isn’t always Big Brother you have to worry about – Big Bird is watching too! P:)

kathleen xx


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Past Lives and Present Lives


Many people that come to see me often ask if I can connect them with their past lives. Sure… I can do that! But guess what? You can connect yourself! It isn’t that complicated if you are able to have a little faith in your own abilities and your own intuition. You may not be able to get exact specifics, or actually see yourself back in time in a psychic sense – but, you will be able to figure out some of the basics. The easiest way to accomplish this and delve into your past lives, is to look for clues in your present life.

First, look at any irrational, obsessive, or “quirky” types of behaviors or aspects to your life. Look for any facets to your life that have absolutely no rhyme or reason. What do I mean, you ask? Well let me give you some examples from my own life:

When I was at University, I studied German Language – what prompted me to study German?? At the time, I didn’t have a clue! I had never visited Germany and I didn’t even know any German people. In fact, I had never really even heard the language spoken. What was the appeal? Well, I found out about 10 years ago, one of my past lives was in fact in Germany. Too easy to be true you say? Perhaps, but let us keep going.

Here’s another example: In this life I have an incredible fear of horses. It isn’t that I don’t like them – in fact, I think they are absolutely magnificent animals – I am just terrified of them. Did something happen to me in this life that would cause me to fear horses? No! Other than two brief experiences in childhood, I have never really been around horses much in this life.

So what is my problem? In a case like this one, I had to take a step back and ask myself, “what exactly is it, that frightens me about horses?” Well, let me tell you. When I see a horse anywhere in my proximity, I will suddenly become very nervous and anxious, as I am afraid the horse is going to bolt towards me, kick me in the head and/or proceed to trample me to death. I always have this constant unshakable feeling that the horse will run me down for some reason. Hmm… past life incident?? I will let you be the judge.

Let us pause here for a moment and review. Okay, I am definitely not saying that wanting to learn to speak German is irrational – please don’t get the wrong message! I am also not saying just because you “like” or are interested in something that it was a part of your past life. It isn’t like you can say, “oh gosh I have been obsessed with Elvis since I was a child – I must have been Elvis in a past life! You have to use a bit of discretion, a “huge” bit of your intuition, and some sleuthing on your part to fit the puzzle together.

Let me give you another example from an American Guy I met when I was in Dublin. I was at the pub in my hotel, waiting for my friend, when I began conversing with two young American guys. As the conversation went on, the one guy began to mention that he was currently studying Japanese language. Since I have a strong background and interest in language and linguistics, I asked him why he choose Japanese. I wanted to know what exactly it was that attracted him to the language. He expressed to me, that similar to my experience with German, he also had never been to Japan and didn’t really have a rhyme or reason for his choice.

After listening to his response, I sat there for a few seconds in thought. Almost as quickly as he had answered the question – I saw a psychic flash of him as a Japanese Kamikaze Pilot. When I told him what I saw, he, being a skeptic of all things psychic, shrugged me off and didn’t pay much attention.

For my own peace of mind and attempting to make sense of my vision, I asked him if he liked traveling and if he enjoyed the experience of flying in an airplane. He immediately tensed up, looked at me sort of angrily and said, “I hate to fly… all planes lead to death!” Okay are you with me here readers? Do you not think that is one of the strangest comments a person can make? Well, not if you were a Kamikaze Pilot in your previous incarnation – then, the comment would be perfectly understandable!

Can you see where I am going with all this? You have to look at clues in your own life! You may not be able to piece together the specifics and figure out exactly what, when or who you were – or actually see yourself psychically as I am sometimes able to do – however, the clues are there! I am not saying that every single like and dislike involves a past incarnation. But, I am saying that if you have some totally irrational fear – like his comment about airplanes – or some really odd passion that seemed to come from nowhere, then chances are, it may have to do with a past life.

Do you always wear your hair in a 1920’s style for absolutely no reason? Are you obsessed or interested in some culture other than your own? Do you have compulsions or quirks that have absolutely no rhyme or reason as to their origin? Do you have a natural talent for something that you weren’t really exposed to in this life? Look for clues, then use your intuition to let you know if your actually onto something. If you feel there is something to your intuitive ideas – then more than likely – there is some type of connection!

Finding Your Soul Purpose

Now let us change gears here and touch on present lives a bit. The same concept of looking for clues can also be applied for understanding what your soul purpose and potential is in this life. When you’re a child, you are closest to your incarnation and remembering why you came down to Earth. During your childhood you will most often release those memories of your soul purpose by acting them out through speech, playing or behavior.

Look for clues in your childhood. What did you say you wanted to be when you grew up? What were your dreams when you were a child? Did you used to pretend you were an astronaut and now in adult life you’re a pilot? Did you used to say you were going to help animals when you grew up and now you’re a Vet Tech? Then chances are you are definitely fulfilling part of your soul purpose!

Let us change gears again one final time. If you are unfortunately one of those people who are unhappy and frustrated with your life – perhaps you haven’t been following your true soul purpose and potential. Were you very outgoing as a child, but the world somehow managed to crush your spirit and now your very shy and reserved? Or perhaps you used to dress up like a movie star and pretended you were famous, but your parents told you it was an unrealistic and to stop acting like a ninny!

Sometimes, well okay most times, it is the actual road blocks from our childhood that we need to overcome to get to our true soul purpose – it is all “part of the plan” if you know what I mean! I guess what I am trying to say here is, if your feeling stuck and unhappy in your current life direction – go back and revisit your childhood dreams! It is never to late to make changes in your life – especially if it involves what you feel is your true calling!

So remember, if your trying to delve into your past lives or your soul purpose for this life – look for clues, by all means trust your intuition, and as the famous Journey song says… don’t stop believing!

(I had to put some “corn” in there with the Journey song reference! P-: )

As always, I hope your having a groovy day!

kathleen xx


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Guipago’s Wisdom for 2011- A Bumpy Ride


A few days before the New Year… and by New Year… I mean January 2011 — I was talking to one of my “peeps”. By peeps, I mean one of my “spirit friends” and by one of my spirit friends — I mean guides, teachers, gurus etc. Still with me? On this particular evening I just happened to be having a chat with none other than the man himself — the guy I like to refer to as “G-man”.

Who is G-man? His proper Indian name is Guipago — however his “white dude” name was Lone Wolf. He is/was a Principle Chief and Medicine Man of the Kiowa Indians. He is/was also part of the Koitsenko which was an elite group of the ten greatest warriors of that same tribe. Let’s just say in short… he was one bad mama-jama!

I will delve more into him later in my upcoming blog — you know — the one that I keep say I am going to write. How long has it been… months? So alrighty then… as usual around the time of the upcoming new year, I ask, enquire or sometimes even meditate on what the new year will bring. This night I was pondering the meaning of life and having the intention to write a Happy New Years, Kumbaya, Peace to all Peeps and People type of thing, when I just happened to sense Guipago lurking about listening to my thoughts.

He has always given me great words of wisdom and ironically enough, his great words of wisdom always comes in the form of “one liners” — not to mention consistently peppered with a great amount of sarcasm. I was telling him I was thinking about writing a blog for the New Year and if he would like to give me any meaningful predictions that I could throw into it.

After thinking for a few minutes and then smiling at me he said, “This year is going to be like riding a horse who has a big rock stuck in it’s foot”.

Ah… once again the wisdom of the great G-man! I have only ridden a horse on two occasions very long ago and I was trying to think about how it might be to ride a horse with a rock in it’s hoof… bumpy ride… ups and downs… hmm… thinking… thinking… thinking about what he said.

After he gave me this brilliant insight, I thought to myself “oh yeah cool this is a good general prediction for mankind”. Little did I know that he must have been speaking directly to me as well because… my gosh man, what a freaking year it has been so far! Here it is April in a few days and I have just now had the chance to sit down and write. My year has not only had it’s ups and downs already — but I compare it to me being like a toy-top and someone pulled the string so I just keep spinning and spinning… never coming to a rest. I am like all over the place!

So in regards to Guipago’s analogy… I get it. Man do I get it! Whew do I ever get it! Someone Take the rock out — for gosh sake, someone please take the rock out! G-man came to me a few years ago and I have to say — fortunately and unfortunately — he has never been wrong yet.

So, in writing you today, I am wanting to first apologize for taking so long to scribble anything down on “computer” and though I can’t make any promises, I will try to get the other stuff written! It is in my head, just not on computer. Good intentions — yes I know, I know!

Secondly, I want to wish everyone a much overdue Happy 2011! Hopefully everything is going groovy for all you out there!

Last but not least… I am wondering as I write this if any of you feel that Guipago was right on time with his prediction for 2011 for your life, and can you relate? There have been several people going to the comment section on my blog — but no one ever leaves a comment. It would be really really cool to hear from some of you who are reading and have read this — I know your out there!

Thanks again for reading and in case your living and breathing Guipago’s prediction in your own life — you might want to think about investing in a seatbelt the next time you go horseback riding!

Aargh aargh aargh! (the corn continues!)

kathleen xx

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Giving Gratitude


With the advent of the holiday season upon us, I thought it might be a good opportunity for me to channel my “inner-blogger” and write about the spirit of giving — giving gratitude in particular.

I bet right about now you are probably shaking your head and thinking, “oh no! It’s going to be one of those typical spiritual everybody hold hands – kumbaya – peace to all people type of narratives”.

Am I right? Well it is,— in a sense. Well okay, you got me -— it is in a big sense! Since it would be absolutely unspeakable, not to mention utterly blasphemous of me to even attempt to pull the wool over your eyes – I won’’t! I will do my best to tell it like it is.

This subject actually rooted itself in my mind a few weeks ago when I was in the Chicago Airport…, the Denver Airport, err… the Washington Dulles Airport… and well the list goes on, but I will stick to the busiest Airports for the sake of trying to illustrate my point.

Has anyone had the “pleasure” of traveling through those airports lately? I won’’t say which it is I think is the rudest and most chaotic airport, as that wouldn’’t be very “spiritual” of me… (puts hands up to mouth and coughs… Chi- cough- go!) But my gosh man! Sometimes you need to put yourself in an altered state of consciousness to be able to deal with it! There are People running into you, people pushing you, people standing in your way, people rolling their suitcase over your foot… all this without even so much as an excuse me or sorry about that.

If you based your opinion of humanity solely on the people you come across in those Airports, you might conclude that 98% of the human population is part of what I like to refer to as the “it’’s all about me – it’’s all about my needs” generation. Can you imagine these people doing their morning meditations?

(picture a person sitting crossed-legged in meditation position chanting)

Ohm… Meeee… Ohm… Meeee… Ohm… Me Me Me Meeeee… It’’s all about Meeeeeee!

Have I lost you already? Have I gone completely off on one of my typical “Kathleen tangents”? I hope not! In fact, I hope a few of you reading this are feeling my pain.

I share my experiences in the airports because for me, they always seem to be a gentle reminder that in today’s society — while there are definitely some amazing people out there — a lot of us have, unfortunately, become totally disconnected.

The majority of us seem to have somehow lost any type of respect or gratitude whatsoever for not only humanity — but all creations Mother Earth. We have become accustomed to taking and not giving back anything in return — even being rude to someone is an act of taking. I refer to this process of give and take as exchanging energy — there should always be an even and equal exchange of energy.

When someone constantly takes — whether it be from people, animals or mother earth — without giving back — that person is in effect depleting that organism of their energy. To put it a little more bluntly they are sucking the life force out of them!

I decided to write this, well okay, I decided to ramble a bit, because I think that giving gratitude is something that is extremely important and that the world would be a much nicer place if people would just simply give gratitude.

Believe me, I am not under any false illusions or trying to state that by simply giving gratitude we will solve all the problems that we, animals and the earth are currently facing. I am merely saying that through attempting to use gratitude more in our everyday lives, it can help to open doors that will help accelerate the worldwide healing process.

What is giving gratitude you may ask? Giving Gratitude is all very simple. Sometimes it can be as simplistic as just saying thank you to someone — yes, just a sincere, heartfelt thank you. Hmm, saying thank you — what a concept!

It can be as easy as holding the door open for someone or giving them eye contact, a smile and saying hello, you know — honoring and acknowledging them as a fellow being.

Here are some other typical scenarios where we might give gratitude:

If someone positively affected change in your life through their kind act, word , or deed — give them some gratitude, write them, call them, let them know that they helped you in your path on earth and that you appreciate what they did!

If someone has inspired you in a creative way whether through their music, their poetry, their words, their style, their website — whatever the case — give them some gratitude, write them, call them, let them know that they inspired you in some way to open your mind or look at things in a different way!

If your Animal Companion has been there for you through thick and thin, or taught you some spiritual lessons — maybe even saved you from yourself — give them some gratitude, take them out to a special park, make a special meal just for them, buy them a new squeaky toy, tell them — they understand believe me!

Last, but definitely not least — give gratitude to Mother Earth by planting a tree, recycling, cutting down on waste, using less water, etc.!

So there you have it… Giving Gratitude… makes you feel good… makes others feel good… helps in the world healing process… let’’s face it… in short… it’’s just a wonderful thing to do!

On that note, I am going to end it here. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season and your life is filled with love, peace, healing, enlightenment and maybe a few out of body experiences!

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for visiting my blog,

See you next time at the Back of the Blue Bus,

kathleen xx


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